Friday, December 05, 2003
Small furry masters of the universe
Maybe the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was right. Maybe humans are the third most evolved lifeform on Earth. While I haven't had much problem with dolphins of late, the mice seem to be conspiring. They attack en masse, expertly using stealth and camouflage to their advantage. Their cover story is food gathering, but they carefully pilfer through all unsecured items. They are taking notes and biding their time for the Big Attack. Their intelligence system surpasses anything Lenin ever dreamed of. And they are becoming freakishly strong. I submit for evidence the previously mentioned story of the mouse that defeated a scorpion and hornet. Also, a friend of mine has found proof of their super strength. He sets mouse traps with peanut butter and cheez whiz. He woke up one morning to find a trap sprung, mouse entangled. He went to the latrine and then came back to dispose of the diseased vermin. He was shocked to find that the mouse had left with the trap in tow! If we don't quit dismissing the rodent problem and face the situation, this entire war could be lost. The heathen rodents are obviously loyal to Saddam and infiltrate our camps with impunity. I implore anyone reading this to take action. You may be the next victim!
Posted by sandcastle at 6:11:00 AM