Saturday, May 21, 2005

Updated protection tips

Here are a few more tips to protect yourself from the menace of evil vampires.
1) Italian food reeking of garlic is the best food to deter vampire attacks.
2) Drink heavily. If you are bitten, the vampire will become disoriented after exposure to your high BAC.
3) Sleep all day. Take your rest when they take theirs. This will allow you to remain awake and viliglant during peak feeding times.
4) Tattoo religious symbols across your throat.
5) Randomly fling holy water at strangers. If they burst into flames they may be vampires. Or Marilyn Manson.
6) Always carry a few sharpened number two pencils. These will work as stakes in a pinch.

No comments: