Friday, June 17, 2005

Oregon - complaints

These complaints are of my short trip or Oregon.

Gripe 1
In my first hour in the great liberal state of Oregon I was pulled over for not using my blinker properly at 1 AM in the morning. Here are the important parts of my conversation with the officer.

(I have my license out and in his hand before he says any thing)
Officer: May I see you registration and insurance.
Me: It's a rental

Officer: Says something I do not remember.
Me: I motion towards the glove compartment and Stewardess pulls out our rental receipts. We hand him the receipts.

Officer: Says something, but an 18-wheeler goes and I cannot understand a word he says.
Me: (I think to myself, "I could be nice") Huh? (With an expressionless look in my face)

Officer: Repeats what he says word for word, it deals with using you blinker 100 feet before you turn. I apparently flicked my blinker, which I feel that shows my ultimate knowledge of the road and my surroundings. He ends with a question asking if I knew you had to use your blinker 100 feet before you turn.
Me: (I answer immediately with no pause) No. (He seems caught off guard.)

The officer then asks me to step outside the car with him. I go.

The officer asks three or four individual questions about what I am doing, where I am going, and what is my relationship to stewardess.

My answers: Corvallis, friend's wedding, and boyfriend (In those exact words.)

Officer: Do you have any problems with anything that has happened tonight?
Me: (I think, "I am being a jerk, but I am not dumb.") No (I answer as if I think he is a moron.)

He then goes and asks stewardess those same questions, while I am standing behind the car, she is extremely nice to him.

He then lets me off with a warning (no paper trail) and hands me back my license. He was very polite when he handed it to me.

I am pissed because I should have said as soon as he walked up, "Give me a ticket or leave me alone.” but I was too tired to think. 1 AM PST time is like 3 AM CST.

Gripe 2
All gas pumps in Oregon are full service. It is the law. For those of you who have forgotten what that means, it means someone else pumps you gas. I do not know if I have ever been to a gas pump like that before in my life. It was a little weird. I drive up and just sit there and the attendant asks me what I want. I say gas. He looks at me like he expects me to say something else. I don't. My question is what kind of liberal backwater place still has screwed up laws like that?

Gripe 3
The dirty old man at Motel Six, but that can happen anywhere.

Gripe 4
The stupid signs that socialist backwater places like that have. I saw one sign that said, "Watch out for low flying aircraft". WTF? Am I supposed to duck? If I saw a plane flying at me I would probably do the exact same thing if I saw a car driving at me. I would freeze and die, move and not make it and die, or put out my gun and shoot the plane or car and then die. If you have to post a sign that says, "Watch out for lowing flying aircraft.” your problem is the aircraft not the people walking on the ground.

Stewardess and I took pictures, I will post the absurd signs I saw. The one I mentioned just happened to be the dumbest.



Brian said...

Heehee. Oregon is funny. It's a wonder you didn't get a contact high and a venereal disease as sson as you crossed the state line.

(Subtext: Californians and Oregonians hate each other, by definition.)

Anonymous said...

Gripe #2.

Can you say New Jersey.

You need a lobotomy if you live in a stat that prohibits you from pumping your own gas...