Tuesday, March 01, 2005
A troubling discovery
Recently declassified documents and anonymous reports have uncovered a disturbing conspiracy. Apes are trying to take over the world! Their agents have infilitrated numerous aspects of human culture. By posing as test subjects they have gained access to secret scientific research. They have slowly been builiding sympathy among left wing Hollywood actors, befriending everyone from Clint Eastwood and Michael Jackson to the cast of Friends. They have been manipulating human eco-terrorists in groups like Greenpeace and PETA to advance their own twisted agenda. Perhaps the most immediately visible damage caused by the primates is in Africa where they have been carrying out experiments in biological warfare. They have infected millions of the local population with diseases by contaminating water supplies and popularizing the inter-species orgies that Jane Goodall pioneered. It is theorized that the various strains of AIDS, ebola, and anal warts were all created by apes. They have been reproducing and organizing clandestinely, and now have terrorist cells on every continent except Antarctica. The main attack is expected to begin in the American Northwest, where sasquatches have been running reconissance missions for years (see www.bfro.net). The only way to avert global domination is to arm yourselves as the great Charlton Heston taught you. He was the first to recognize these animals for what they are "Dirty, stinkin' apes!". If you live in an area where owning a firearm is prohibited you can still help. Deprive them of the peanuts they cherish so much. Do not grow peanuts and boycott their sale and manufacture. As I write this organizers are already assembling peanut burning parties. Currently I believe this blog is the only place to make this threat known publicly. Governments are trying to handle the problem without creating a public hysteria. Continue to check us out. I will post more information as I recieve it.