Movie Review

the glimmer man

Can you say the worst freaking Steven Seagal movie that I have ever seen in my entire life? I can and did. Steven Seagal hit an all time low with this movie. It had Keenen Ivory Wayans in this movie and it was not funny at all. I don't know if Ivory is funny (odd name for a black man), but he is a wayans so I know he is funnier than I am. The title from this movie came from the past of Stegal's character past. "He was in the jungle, all you would see would be a glimmer, and then you where dead", wow, that is amazing. I would love to see that movie, but nothing like that happened in this movie. There were some fight scenes, none good. There were some lines, none good. I will admit the plot was engaging, but it was not great. This was not under siege or hard to kill, this was the glimmer man and he was here to suck and suck hard.

Enjoyability
300

quality
250



once upon a time in Mexico

Now this was a quality movie, I had seen Desperado (1995) , and was really looking forward to this movie. I enjoyed the movie, but I enjoyed the director teaching me about his craft, cooking, and filming in digital more. The movie was great, buy when you learn it was filmed in a few weeks it becomes much better. Johnny Depp plays an good character, though not one of this unforgettable ones. I thought the plot was great with some fun twists. This movie also had Eva Mendes in it, which I have been seeing her all over the place, and I can't say that I mind all that much. This movie was not as good as Desperado, it seemed to be missing some essential gun fight; or maybe it was just like Desperado and I had been desensitized (I am leaning toward the second option). If you have not seen this movie, their will be elements that many will enjoy. Eva is in it, revenge, love (though only in flash backs), and a wacky CIA agent (Depp). This movie will be better than most you watch. This is one that you should definitely bring up until you get to see it.

enjoyablity
650


quality
750


the phone booth

Just hearing Kiefer Sutherland talk dirty to Colin Farrell is worth the time. I enjoyed this movie, but I would not bother going out of you way to see this one. The beginning and the end are really cheesy, and could not get over those problems. Also, if my life was threatened and all I had to do was tell the truth to make the bastard leave me alone, the guy threatening my life would have his goal accomplished in about 5 mins. You know different strokes for different folks. If you really want to struggle with a crazed sniper for a few hours be my guest, but I have better things to do with my time. You know you can always play it off like it was a prank to you wife. Come one honey, do you really think I would cheat on you!?!?!? The movie did have a lot of tension, but it was low on the action. I guess I am not much of a thriller person. If you think your spouse is cheating on you , this might be a good movie to see. If you want to find out the truth, that is. First it could make your spouse feel guilty, secondly it will give you ideas on how to pry that information from you spouse. If someone suggests that you see this movie, I would just concede. It is really alright, and you can always talk like Sutherland to you spouse in their sleep.

enjoyablity
790

quality
600